Once my mother said that there is no bigger love than the one you feel for your own kids, she assured me that one day I would understand. That day has come, I felt it, I felt it big time.
The day she was born was full of joy, new amazing things were happening to us, we were building a new family and I was astonished with what Mother Nature can do. Almost a year and a half has past, she has grown from a little room-sharing newborn to an amazing baby full of energy and smiles that occasionally shares our bed – very occasionally.
Newborns cry, that is the only way they have to get our attention, if they are hungry, if they want to sleep, if a diaper change is needed or if they just want a hug to get warmer at night, they just cry, that’s nature and parents have a sixth sense to identify what’s going on.
However, there is a kind of cry you know comes from pain. I remember them very clear as if they were a re-play in my head, first when she got her first immunization at the age of 2 months, second when she got her ears pierced at 2.5 months old and third when she and I had an accident at home just about the same time.
That feeling is indescriptible, it is a mixture of feelings that make you dizzy. Just to give you a taste of it I felt powerless, abandoned, disoriented, tense, anxious and angry. You may think this is an exaggeration, yet only those with kids of their own will be able to confirm this is an understatement.
Interestingly enough, those 3 situations were completely different from each other and my feelings were pretty much the same. While the immunization was for health reasons, the ear piercing was more of a personal choice and the accident totally my fault.
As she grows I see her stronger, enjoying things that make her happy and being careful with things that hurt her. She is too young to understand sometimes pain comes from things that are not physical in nature. I hope when she learns about those feelings she also remembers I will be standing next to her, I promise.